Welcome to the Chicken, Alaska Online Store. Please peck out the appropriate items.
Are you still drinking beer from uninsulated bottles? I know I sure am. But in case you want to be different, buy this beer bottle koozie. A handsome zipper on this classy tells the world that you practically excrete class
These stickers are suitable for framing, or, better yet, placing on your bumper (the bumper of your car.)
Nothing screams class quite like a Candom. Pop these puppies on your can at parties to make sure Jim, the guy with the Cheetos crumbs on his upper lip, doesn't "accidentally" drink from your Molson. Each Candom proudly says "I Got Laid in Chicken, Alaska" and comes with the guarantee that you'll never meet another living soul who has one of these babies.
Chicken is the only town small enough to fit on a sweatshirt and still allow you to see the detail of the doorknobs. Try doing that with San Francisco! This long-sleeve warm sweater will keep you toasty and oriented if you ever get lost (as long as you get lost in downtown Chicken.)
This is the shirt for chicken-lovers. Yeah, you know who you are. Stop sneaking around with your little chicken secrets and declare your pride for everything chicken!
|Yes, it exists, and now you can be among the few people who know that. This double-sided T-Shirt can be the beginning of your new fashion collection.
This isn't one of those cheap, foam-fronted, lame hats. This denim, strap-adjustable hat is top-notch! And that little drunk chicken isn't just printed on, that's an embroidered drunk chicken! Now that's quality!
Next time you're wondering what to wear to that wedding, whip out these red and yellow beauties! Not only will you be the talk of the party, but your pants won't fall down either.
These high quality patches are unique. Really, you're not going to find a bunch of other people sporting Chicken Patches. Tell you what, if you find someone else wearing the same Chicken Patch as you, I'll EAT your patch. That's right, I'LL EAT IT! Then you'll have to buy another patch.
Tired of getting invited to fancy, sophisticated dinner parties? Wear this yellow Chicken Tuque to the next party and watch the invitations dwindle. Note: THIS PRODUCT IS NOT AVAILABLE FOR SHIPPING UNTIL THE SECOND WEEK OF MAY
Those snobs with their pretentious Harvard and Yale T-Shirts and hats will have nothing on you! Sure, they may be more successful, have a sports car, and bathe in Perrier, but you've got a T-Shirt or embroidered hat from Chicken's only fictitious university.
95|This is the most asked for, sought-after, world-famous, Chicken, Alaska T-Shirt. Could you find a more perfect mix of childlike innocence and sexual innuendo? Yeah, I didn't think so. Choose from cartoon style (top) or outline style (bottom)
Stop drinking your alcohol straight out of the bottle. If you ever expect to be a part of high society you'll need to buy a genuine Chicken, Alaska shotglass. This fine mark of distinction is available in some sort of metal or glass in both a Chicken Creek Saloon variety, or the Chicken University style (with "Go Peckers" printed on the back.) Classy! You get 2 glass shotglasses for $7.95, or 1 metal shotglass.
Did you know that the number one cause of a boring life is boring socks? Wouldn't you like to be wearing some socks with an image of Beautiful Downtown Chicken, or some random flapping chicken? Or perhaps you want some socks with a big creepy chicken eye for your little one. Whatever. Choose one and move on. Geez, it's not rocket science here. They're socks!